Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
