Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
