I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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