Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
