You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
