I think I am morally bankrupt
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
