sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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