her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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