walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
