i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
