Cold hands, warm shart.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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