so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
"it" just moved
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
