glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Less talking, more tequila
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize