I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
