new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Still dying that you shit outside
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
