Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
