ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
