Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
