i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
