I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
