i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
