You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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