She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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