Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
