happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
