Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
