Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
