Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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