I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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