Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
