Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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