I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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