So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize