Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
