Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
