My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
