tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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