4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
