Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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