I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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