Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
