I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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