I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
