apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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