P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
