I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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