it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I looked at my own cervix.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
