I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
