Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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