party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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