Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
