Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
In America we eat man semen.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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