Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
