Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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