you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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