I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
