My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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