Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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