i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
