I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize