I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
