He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
