My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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